How to Overcome Anger (At Yourself)

Masterclass with Insights from Ellen J. Biros (Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MS, LCSW, C-PD)

It’s common to experience anger (at yourself) after narcissistic abuse.

This means you feel upset or frustrated with your actions, decisions, or behaviors. 

Some common thoughts you might have if you’re experiencing this are:

  • “I should have seen the signs and left earlier.”
  • “Why did I let them treat me this way?”
  • “I was so naive to believe their lies.”
  • “I’m angry at myself for trusting them.”
  • “I should have been stronger and stood up for myself.”

If you can relate to those thoughts, this masterclass could be for you.

Meet Ellen J. Biros.

She is a Licenced Clinical Social Work and Therapist from Georgia.

Today, she will guide you through five strategies to help you overcome the challenges associated with anger (at yourself).

Watch Now

  • Warning: This content discusses narcissism and narcissistic abuse. This subject may be triggering for some people. If you find yourself feeling triggered, please click here to watch our Trigger/Flashback Protocol.

If you struggle to stay focused when consuming long-form content, you’re not alone. We’ve found that listening to our content as you read the transcript is the easiest way to stay focused because the audio will keep you on pace with the text. In addition, when you do this, the information is processed by two different parts of your brain, which can give you a more comprehensive understanding and memory of the material.

Ellen J. Biros’ Strategies

We recommend using If/When-Then Plans to implement Ellen J. Biros’ advice effectively. Please click here to learn more about this research-backed approach.

First Strategy: Check-In with Your Emotions

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [1:58] and rewatch Ellen J. Biros’ advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a recap of Ellen J. Biros’ advice. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

Question 1: What happens to my body when I feel anger?

Question 2: What am I thinking about when I am angry?

Question 3: How do I behave as a result of this anger?

Once you recognize how anger manifests for you, follow these steps to tune into your body and emotions.

Pause: Stop what you’re doing.

Find Quiet: Sit quietly for a short period of time.

Body Awareness: Turn your attention inward and ask your body how it feels.

Body Scan for Tension: Notice if you have any tension in your body.

Breathing Check: Notice your breathing patterns. Are you holding your breath?

Behavior Observation: Reflect on any behaviors you might engage in due to anger.

Emotional Check-In: Pay attention to the emotions you are feeling.

Thought Analysis: Can you stay focused, or do you have racing thoughts?

Pro Tip: If you notice any physical signs of tension or anxiety, use a breathing technique. 


Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Second Strategy: The Four-Square Breathing

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [7:30] and rewatch Ellen J. Biros’ advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a recap of Ellen J. Biros’ advice. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

1.) Breathe in through your mouth for a count of four.

2.) Hold your breath for a count of four.

3.) Breathe out through your nose for a count of four.

4.) Hold your breath for a count of four.

5.) Repeat this process as many times as you need.


Third Strategy: Thought-Stopping

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [19:14] and rewatch Ellen J. Biros’ advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Fourth Strategy: Grounding

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [27:51] and rewatch Ellen J. Biros’ advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Fifth Strategy: Self-Compassion Pause

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [33:43] and rewatch Ellen J. Biros’ advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Closing Remarks

Thank you for watching this masterclass!

We hope you found it informative and empowering.

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Take care and see you next time.

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