How to Reconnect with Your Core Values

Masterclass with Insights from Jenni McBride McNamara (Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT)

It’s common for people who’ve experienced narcissistic abuse to lose sight of their core values because of the abuse and manipulation.

Core values are personal ethics or ideals that guide you when making decisions, building relationships, and solving problems. 

Some common thoughts you might have if you’re experiencing this are:

  • “I don’t really know what I stand for anymore.”
  • “I feel like I’m just floating, disconnected from what used to be important to me.”
  • “There’s this empty feeling inside me like something’s missing.”
  • “Who am I really? I used to know, but now I’m not so sure.”
  • “I often wish I could go back and stay true to myself.”

If you can relate to those thoughts, this masterclass could be for you.

Watch Now

  • Warning: This content discusses narcissism and narcissistic abuse. This subject may be triggering for some people. If you find yourself feeling triggered, please click here to watch our Trigger/Flashback Protocol.

If you struggle to stay focused when consuming long-form content, you’re not alone. We’ve found that listening to our content as you read the transcript is the easiest way to stay focused because the audio will keep you on pace with the text. In addition, when you do this, the information is processed by two different parts of your brain, which can give you a more comprehensive understanding and memory of the material.

Jenni McBride McNamara’s Strategies

We recommend using If/When-Then Plans to implement Jenni McBride McNamara’s advice effectively. Please click here to learn more about this research-backed approach.

First Strategy: Reidentify with Your Core Values

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [1:00] and rewatch Jenni McBride McNamara’s advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a writing activity. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

  • If the narcissist in your life is someone you haven’t always had a relationship with (e.g., a romantic partner), write down the values you lived before you met them.
  • If the narcissist in your life is someone you’ve always had a relationship with (e.g., a family member), write down the values you lived/live when you weren’t/aren’t around them.
  • Ask yourself: “What was I doing in the narcissistic relationship or around the narcissist in my life that wasn’t me?”

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Second Strategy: Listen to Your Body

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [7:40] and rewatch Jenni McBride McNamara’s advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Third Strategy: Observe and Emulate People Who Are Your Value’s Models

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [16:07] and rewatch Jenni McBride McNamara’s advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Resource Alert

To help you put this strategy into practice, we’ve created a writing activity. Give it a try – it’s designed to support your journey.

1.) Create a List of People You Admire:

  • Identify individuals whom you admire. These can be public figures, personal acquaintances, or even fictional characters.
  • For each person on your list, write down specifically what qualities or achievements you admire about them. 
  • Be as detailed as possible in your descriptions.

2.) Reflect on Your Values (from Strategy Number 1):

  • Refer to the list of values you created in the first strategy. This list should include the principles and standards that are important to you and guide your life.

3.) Compare and Analyze:

  • Compare the qualities you admire in others with your own values list.
  • Look for overlaps or disparities between what you admire in others and your values.
  • Consider why you admire these qualities in others and how they align or differ from your value system.

4.) Insight and Growth:

  • Reflect on any insights gained from this comparison. It can help in understanding what you prioritize in yourself and others.
  • Use this reflection as a tool for personal growth, identifying areas in your values or aspirations you might want to develop further.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Fourth Strategy: See Your Values

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [23:05] and rewatch Jenni McBride McNamara’s advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Fifth Strategy: Practice Your Values In the World

Attention

We strongly recommend you visit [30:03] and rewatch Jenni McBride McNamara’s advice to get the information you need to implement this strategy effectively.

Get Support

If you need help with this strategy, click here to join our community discussion. You don’t have to go through this alone; we’re here to support you.

Closing Remarks

Thank you for watching this masterclass!

We hope you found it informative and empowering.

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Take care and see you next time.

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