Guidelines for Responding to Members

When responding to members, please follow this template.

Part 1.) Greeting

“Hi (member’s first name), it’s (mentor’s first name)!”

Part 2.) Summarize

To show you understand them, create a bullet point summary of their message.

  • Pro Tip #1: Ask ChatGPT to do this. We’ll teach you how in an upcoming section.
  • Important: If for some reason it doesn’t make sense to summarize the message, you can skip this section. But please find a way to show them that you understand their message.

Part 3.) Mentoring

The sole purpose of this institution is to help people who’ve experienced narcissistic abuse build a life that is authentically theirs.

As a mentor, your role/responsibility in this process is to help members:

  • Determine the direction they want their life to go.
  • Identify the challenges they may face.
  • Develop strategies for overcoming the challenges they face.

So, in this third section, please craft a response with that in mind.

  • Important Reminder: As a therapist, you most likely already know this, but we’re going to say it anyway.

    Please conduct your mentoring in a way that allows members to take an active role in the journey they’re on rather than being a passive recipient of your guidance.

    This is important because active participation helps members rebuild their sense of control, self-worth, confidence, trust in themselves, etc.
  • Pro Tip #2: Look for opportunities to give them one or more of the resources Unfilteredd’s Institute of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse has.

    For example, if a member shows signs that they are struggling with self-doubt, we can give them the “How to Overcome Self-Doubt” masterclass. 

    To do something like this, please open our “Resource Page.”

    Then, please select the most relevant resource and tell the member why you are giving them that particular resource.

    Important: If you give them more than one resource, please provide them with this guide to help them take it one step at a time: A Guide to Choosing the Right Resource for You
  • Pro Tip #3: Look for opportunities to educate the member on the abuse they experienced, how it affects them, and strategies for healing and moving forward.

    For example, imagine you’re mentoring a person who has been in a narcissistic relationship where their partner made them feel worthless.

    You could use expertise as a therapist to explain to this person the common dynamics that happen in these types of relationships that lead to feeling of worthlessness.

    Then, you could give them a resource from our institution or one you’ve developed in your own therapeutic practice to help them overcome their feelings of worthlessness.

Part 4.) Ending

End the message in a warm and supportive tone.

  • Important Reminder: You don’t need to add your signature because Zendesk does it automatically:

    Until next time,
    (Your Name)
    The Unfilteredd Team
    [email protected]

Here’s How Your Response Should Look

Part 1.) Greeting

Hi [member’s first name], it’s (mentor’s first name)!

Part 2.) Summarize

Correct me if I’m wrong, but here’s my understanding of your situation:

  • You’re unsure where else to turn.
  • You feel confused and lost.
  • You’ve been struggling with overwhelming self-doubt.
  • You feel like you can’t trust your thoughts or feelings anymore.
  • You keep questioning everything you do, and it’s paralyzing.
  • Sometimes, you wonder if it’s all in your head or if you’re overreacting.
  • Your emotions are all over the place; one moment sad, the next extremely angry.
  • You feel like you have no control, and you hate it.
  • You want to feel normal again but don’t know what that means for you.

Does that sound about right? 

Part 3.) Mentoring

If so, here’s my advice:

[this is where you type your response]

Part 4.) Ending

I hope you found this helpful.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Until next time,
(Your Name)
The Unfilteredd Team
[email protected]