Self-Compassion Self-Assessment

When I make a mistake, I tend to be harsh and critical of myself.

Example: You’re making dinner and accidentally burn the food. Instead of laughing it off or just acknowledging the mistake, you berate yourself, thinking “I can’t do anything right” or “I’m so useless in the kitchen.”

I find it hard to forgive myself when I’ve done something wrong.

Example: A week ago, you snapped at a friend because you were feeling stressed. Even though they accepted your apology, you’re still replaying the moment and beating yourself up about it, thinking “I’m a terrible friend.”

I often compare myself unfavorably to others.

Example: You see a former classmate on social media who has a seemingly successful career. Instead of feeling happy for them or simply acknowledging their success, you start thinking, “Why can’t I be successful like them? I must be a failure.”

I struggle to acknowledge and accept my feelings without judgment.

Example: You’re feeling sad because a plan got cancelled, but instead of allowing yourself to feel disappointed, you tell yourself “I shouldn’t be upset over such a small thing” or “I’m being too sensitive.”

I feel I must constantly prove myself to be worthy of love and respect.

Example: You’re always trying to help everyone, often to your own detriment, because you believe that’s the only way people will appreciate or respect you.

When things go wrong, I often blame myself even if it’s not entirely my fault.

Example: Your team at work didn’t meet a deadline and although it was a group effort, you find yourself thinking, “If only I had done more, we wouldn’t have missed the deadline. It’s all my fault.”

I find it difficult to be kind and understanding towards myself when I’m suffering.

Example: When you’re going through a tough time, like a breakup or a loss, instead of comforting yourself, you might think, “I shouldn’t be this upset” or “I need to toughen up and move on.”

I tend to feel isolated or cut off from others when I’m struggling.

Example: You’re feeling down and instead of reaching out to friends or loved ones, you isolate yourself, thinking that you don’t want to be a burden to anyone.

I have a hard time recognizing and honoring my own needs and boundaries.

Example: You’ve just finished a long, draining day and you’re looking forward to a quiet evening to recharge. Your phone rings and it’s a relative known for their lengthy, energy-consuming conversations. Instead of letting it go to voicemail or politely telling them it’s not a good time, you answer and spend the next hour on the call. Even though you’re exhausted and yearn for solitude, you struggle to put your own needs first due to guilt or fear of being seen as uncaring or rude.

I often get caught up in my own distress, finding it hard to offer myself comfort and reassurance.

Example: When you’re feeling stressed or anxious, you dwell on your distress, magnifying your feelings of discomfort and despair, rather than telling yourself it’s okay to feel this way and that this will pass.